I didn’t want a health journey

I didn't want to go on a health journey, really no one does, but I felt that I shouldn't have to. In my eyes, and society's, I was healthy. I was a strong, active, outdoorsy, young person doing cool things (Instagram said so!), so I must be healthy right? I wanted to pursue the next cool thing, to switch lanes from the one incredible career I had to the next Instagram worthy, pivot of a career (with some cool wilderness adventures along the way) that I seemed to manifest to fall right on my lap....

That sounds too good to be true anyways, but even if that was the case, and it fell right on my lap, and there was an abundance of adventures to be had, I was too tired. I've talked about the burnout that I experienced before (you can reread that here) so I don't want to go there today. What I do want to say, is the lifestyle of managing depletion was acceptable until I wanted to grow beyond that point. Until I wanted to expand my capacity to serve more, adventure more, and live more. Then it was no longer tolerable. I still would have thought I was "healthy" but just a little burnt out.

What this looked like was the beginning of the pandemic shut down when I was already studying to be a coach and sensed a pivot was drawing near. I wanted to take on a bigger role and I just could not show up. I tried lots of the old tricks, lots of different things, but I just could not move beyond where I was, beyond the coping mechanisms that I had.

Then it became clear to me... I had to go on a health journey. I had to see daily energy, clarity of thought, ability to focus, capacity to stay fit and heal old injuries as health. It wasn't just that I wasn't sick often and didn't need to go to the doctor, it wasn't that obvious. It was that injuries and infections lingered, I couldn't remember things, couldn't stay awake, couldn't be centered within myself AND YOU CAN'T CHANGE THE WORLD IF YOU CAN'T STAY AWAKE!!!!

Sorry for yelling, but it should be that obvious, right?!?

There I was, just walking along through the dark wondering if this is as good as it gets... wondering if I was old now (28 at the time) and was on the decline forever more. I know now that it's not true. I feel younger now than I have for the last few years and that each day I move toward more clarity in myself and more energy the next morning, I know my capacity to do more good in the world is expanding too.

The question comes up of “how bad does it have to get for you to be willing to take action?”. Often it has to get bad enough that we focus only on the most important thing, that most important thing often comes up as health, family, happiness, joy. I’ll give ya a little secret - all these things get better with better habits!